The Old & Lonely

A few days ago I was sitting at my desk at work doing absolutely nothing. It was Friday and I was counting the minutes until I was able to start my weekend. An old lady who does some of the cleaning for the building came by. She never really acknowledges me. She just comes in to fill up her bottle of water and goes right back out the door. On this particular day she decided to sit in my office and just stare at me. In her heavy Italian accent she said, "you new here?" I smiled and said yes. She apologized for never saying hello to me but that she thought I was just a temp and didn't want to risk getting too close to me only for me to leave. I assured her that I was here to stay for a while. I stared her up and down. I don't think she's any younger than 80 years old, short and stubby, with her long gray hair pulled back into a ponytail. 

I didn't do much talking. For the thirty minutes she sat with me she told me how she only works one hour a day and it's really just to get out of the house. She told me her husband died ten years ago and she was grateful for this institution and the support they have shown her all of these years. As she spoke she rubbed her knee and said that she was in pain, but she doesn't let it stop her. "You so beautiful", she said to me over and over. It took a lot of concentration to understand what she was saying since her accent was so thick, but I managed to get it. She was telling me how now that it's nice out she needs to start cutting the grass in her house but she didn't think her knees would let her. This led me to the ultimate question, does this lady have any family?

The question in my mind was, are her kids really leaving this poor old lady to fend for herself? I managed to get it in during one of her silent moments, "do you have any kids?" She looked at me with a sad smile and said "No, I wish I did." This broke my heart. Now I understood why she was sitting here with me telling me everything she possibly could about her life; she was lonely. This lady had lost her husband, and has probably outlived most of her family and friends. I began to think of my own mother and grandmother and how I'd hate for them to be on their own like that. 

She asked me, "You have boyfriend?" I gave her my own sad smile, but didn't say anything. It was like if she was a teenage girl again and told me how in Italy she used to have multiple boyfriends at the same time. "I like when young girls like you have boyfriends. It means they not alone." I got even sadder. For my own personal reasons, as well as for her. She clearly likes seeing people happy and together, because she's on the opposite side of happiness. It took her a few minutes to manage to get out of her chair. Apologizing for talking so much, she smiled and once again told me how beautiful I was. I said, "You can come back any time you want." With that she wished me great weekend and said she'd see me during the week. 

I don't know exactly where I wanted to go by telling this story, but it really hit my heart. We often think we're all alone and torture ourselves by isolating ourselves from those who love us. If this lady had the opportunity to have at least those thirty minutes she spent with me, to spend with her husband or someone she loved, I'm sure she'd switch with one of us in a heartbeat.