Single Mothers.

How many of you have kids? How many of you can afford to have them? ... Yea, that's what I thought. I have continuous conversations about people who keep having babies without being able to afford or care for them. I've noticed lately how many of the people that I am surrounded with have at least one child. I was actually starting to believe that maybe it was me who was doing something wrong. You can find me traveling, going out for a drink, or sleeping in.. I mean, I am in my 2os... and single!

I'm not saying that you shouldn't have kids in your 20s.. if you can do it, more power to you. What upsets me is that many of you are out here getting pregnant by men who you know will not be there to provide for their child and leave you to take care of it on your own. I look up to and appreciate single mothers who go above and beyond to ensure their child's well being. There are plenty of young women getting pregnant on purpose.. KNOWING that they are setting themselves up for the struggle of all struggles. This just doesn't make any sense to me. 

Why would you think that by you having a baby your man is going to stay with you? Ladies, it is 2012. If we have learned anything throughout the years, it is that there are plenty of men who will not think about it twice if they want to just get up and go. There are good men out there who handle their business and know that even if they aren't with the baby mama they should support their children. Very few in comparison to those who don't care. Even if he's willing to stay, if you don't see any progression in your relationship, leave him! I understand that I don't have kids so maybe I don't understand wanting to have a dysfunctional family. I prefer to be a single mother raising a child in a happy home than to be in a relationship where all we do is fight or just don't want to be together. Don't say you're doing it for the child. The child doesn't know one thing from the next. If they grow up around dysfunction, they will grow to think that it's OK. If they grow up with their parents already separated, but getting along, that is a hell of a lot healthier. But hey, what do I know?

The other thing is.. don't go out looking for a father to compensate for the absentee. Every boyfriend you have should NOT be introduced to your child. Please stop giving children false illusions that every man they meet is going to be their daddy. The man who wants to be there for your child will be there because they want to, not because you aren't giving them a choice. 

For those of you out there who do have your stuff together.. you go girl! For those of you who read everything above and found that I described you in any way.. make some changes. It's not about you anymore. 

Do you know someone who should be reading this? Send it to them!