As "new age" women, we are often faced with some interesting questions about how we choose to live our lives. While driving to work this morning, the topic of conversation was "Would you prefer to work or be a stay-at-home mom?" And they also opened it up to the men and asked them which position they would like their lady to take. Some of the answers were very realistic. Several men even said that if their lady's career meant so much to them and they were able to provide for the family, they would be stay-at-home dads. Other answers were very old fashioned; "A woman belongs home to cook, clean, and take care of the kids." Most of the people responding agreed that it would be ideal if at least one parent should be around to take care of the kids.
Here's my answer. I don't know exactly what the future holds for me and if things will go as I would like them to. I anticipate having a career. Not for nothing, but I didn't get a Master's degree just to hang it on my wall to stare at while I bake cookies and my kids have their play dates. I am ambitious and goal-oriented. Now, that in mind, this doesn't mean I'd put my career over my family. Balancing a career and a family is no easy task, but it can be done. My mom has worked all of my life, yet the house was always clean and there was always a hot meal on the table. She was there to take me to and from piano classes, take my sisters to dance, attend all of our recitals and school plays, and be on the front line cheering us on. So I know this can be done. Is it difficult? Absolutely. In a perfect world I would like to have my own business and be my own boss. This would give me the opportunity to still make my own money and not have to be financially dependent on my husband, as well as be there when my kids need me.
I don't want to be a helicopter parent or hover over them at all times, but I do think that in the era that we're living, children need their parents around more than ever. I can't expect for someone else to raise my child for me. I was a nanny for several years where I did everything for the kids that their parents should have been doing with and for them. From being the one to get them ready for school, to taking them on play dates and after school activities, to making dinner, giving them a bath and putting them to sleep. I witnessed several meltdowns from kids when their moms would have to go to work or a late night meeting. I don't ever want my kids to feel like I'm missing out on any part of their life. Or to not have the option to be there because my job needs me just as badly.
I'm not knocking the women who work hard to make sure their kids have the best of everything. I know some women who have kids just because that's what their man wants and I believe that is the worst thing to do to try to save your relationship. If you're not ready to be a mom, or simply don't feel it's for you, don't do it. It's simple. I, on the other hand, am prepared to make the sacrifices necessary to make sure my family never wants for anything.. not financially and not emotionally. It shouldn't be a sacrifice if it's something you really want. I've always dreamed of having children and being a wife as much as I've dreamed of walking the red carpet, being on the radio, and owning my own business. Happy medium? I'll find it.
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I feel like some areas of society have demphasized how important it is to have a strong parental role model in general, whether they are a stay at home parent or a working parent. I think a part of the problem with the "bad egg" youth that get involved in crimes starts from their home environment. Mom and dad don't speak respectfully to each other, so neither do the kids. Mom and dad don't take responsibility for themselves financially and behaviorally, so neither do the kids. Its an unfortunate cycle.
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