Being Mary Jane.. hit or miss?

Who's been keeping up with the newest big TV show, Being Mary Jane? The first thing I will say is that I was immediately attracted to the movie in 2013 simply because I'm a huge fan of Gabrielle Union. When I found out that Salim Akil and Mara Brock Akil were behind this project, I also knew it was going to be worth my time. Their hit show Girlfriends still remains one of my favorite shows of all time - I'm currently indulging in the full series DVD set I recently got for my birthday. Being Mary Jane focuses on the life of Mary Jane Paul, a successful TV news anchor who is also strongly devoted to her family and finding Mr. Right - she also happens to be a Black woman. 

Mary Jane's (MJ) family is a hot mess. Her mother is sick, but she's extremely dramatic. Her teenage niece is pregnant for the second time and her brother is a recovering drug addict. Despite the circumstances of her family, it is something many of us can all relate to. Some people feel like they are the glue that keeps their family together and that can end up feeling like a burden. No matter how hard MJ tries to put her foot down with them, she ends up giving in.. because that's what a good daughter/sister/auntie does. 

Now, the real drama unfolds as we take a peek into MJ's crazy ass love life. From the masturbation scenes, to dodging an ex flame, to finding out she's having an affair with a married man.. I felt like I needed a cigarette break after watching most of these scenes. Not to mention, her love interests are the epitome of fine. This is where I'm going to play devil's advocate real quick... 

Many people are upset with shows like Being Mary Jane and Scandal because they're concerned at the fact that it seems like being a mistress is something to aspire to. Although I am a true Gladiator and can not wait for this winter hiatus to come to an end (17 more days!), Being Mary Jane seems to be much more relatable to the average woman than Scandal. I'm not by any means condoning that a woman should come second to anyone, especially when it comes to being in a relationship. The truth of the matter is that this show is really giving us a look into what many women have silently gone through - Falling in love with a man who belongs to someone else. In many cases, like MJ's, she wasn't even aware that Andre (her love interest) was married. He made her promises to get married and live this happy life that most, if not all of us want. By the time she found out about his secret it was too late... she was in too deep. We basically find ourselves asking "Why it happen?" (for insight as to why this question is my new favorite, please read "What Happen With That Cover, Atlanta Voice? Why It Happen?" on AwesomelyLuvvie.com ) Let's not forget that she is also torn between two men.. her ex and someone else's happily ever after.


 
Have you ever been in a situation like this? There were many times when MJ wanted to stand her ground but Andre pulls something, like coming out of the pool in all his fineness, and if only for a second we just want them to be happy together. It is no help that MJ is confronted by Andre's wife Bethany (ok that's not her real name but it was her name in Deliver Us From Eva, where she played Gabrielle Union's sister). So, Bethany goes to MJ's office to ask her if she's sleeping with her man and goes on to ask her every single detail of their sex life. MJ being the bad ass that she is, answers her questions with no remorse. As the episodes continue to show us a glimpse into her love , personal, and business life, to some extent we can all empathize with the struggles MJ faces. At the end of the day we want to have it all. MJ does what she thinks is best and a lot of times it it backfires. How many times have the decisions you've made for your life been the best ones?



I applaud the Akil's and BET for bringing light to a situation like MJ's, that many women have been through, but are ashamed to admit. It humanizes MJ and puts light on a situation that most people are afraid to discuss. Anyone who sees MJ on the outside would think she has it all. She lives in an amazing house, drives a fancy car, and is a beautiful, strong woman. Deep down there are underlying issues that no one would ever think existed. It shows that every one of us has a story and we should not be out here belittling each other for our decisions. We are often quick to judge a situation based off of "morals" but don't take the time to find out "why it happen?" 

I for one am extremely interested in where this storyline is headed and will continue to support this show every single week, if only for the eye candy and conversation that follows with my girlfriends each and every episode. 

How do you feel about this show? Do you relate to any of these characters? 

this is me when someone tries to talk to me during the show

Update: Mara Brock Akil read this post and loved it! *hits dougie*

Be Kind

It's been a while since I've been inclined to write a post, despite me always having something to say. I've been inspired to write this entry due to a very heated conversation I was involved in with a few co-workers this afternoon and thought I should share. 

How do you feel about people who are less fortunate than you? When you see a person begging on the street do you belittle what you would consider their lack of effort for a better life? Or are you someone who doesn't care about the circumstances and just likes to give back? 

I have always understood that not everyone is like me- I am generous to a fault. If I come across someone who needs my help and there's nothing I can do, it puts a damper on my soul for a long time. My mom always tells me, "you can't save the world." I know that I've been blessed in many ways and even though sometimes my life isn't where I want it to be, I'm still in a much better place than a lot of people. What I didn't realize though, was the viewpoints that some people tend to have on those less fortunate. As we happened to stumble upon a conversation about helping someone who needs it, my coworker said that he doesn't understand why this person isn't "busting their ass" for their situation to change. To be honest, I don't feel there's anything more this person can do, it's just a life situation where she's doing all that she possibly can to make ends meet and it still isn't cutting it. 

This guy's response was something to the extent of, "I've always had to work to get what I wanted and I don't understand why I should give someone a hand out." I got a little offended by his comment just because it's very easy to judge something by what it seems. I gave him my own example of having graduated with a Master's degree nearly three years ago and just recently getting a job. I began applying for jobs since before I finished school, only to end up cleaning houses and babysitting kids just to have some cash because nothing was happening for me. You will only understand if you've been through it when I say that looking for a job can easily become a full time job. There were so many people around me who couldn't understand how on earth I was educated and unemployed and would go as far as to call me lazy or "entitled." The truth is, for every 20 applications I sent out, I would maybe get 5 responses, none of which were ever job offers. 

During the rest of our conversation it just dawned on me when he said "time is money" or "this world is full of evil people, so why should I be nice?" My heart dropped. I realized that we really are a product of our environment. This guy has apparently lived a pretty rough life and has unfortunately been around people who haven't been there to lend him a helping hand. He isn't a bad person, but he views the world in a completely different way. When he asked me why I do so much for the people around me I just answered, "because I want to." He then asked, "do you think they'd do the same for you?", and to be honest my answer is no. The thing with me is that I don't do anything expecting something else or the same in return. I really just do what I want. 

Please take some time to do good to the people around you. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle or hardship, no matter if they tell you or not. Don't let the nastiness of this sometimes very cruel world make you become insensitive to other people's feelings or situations. Just because you weren't given the help, don't deny that privilege to someone you come across because of your bitterness towards those who weren't there for you. One kind gesture can go a long way... and clearly no gesture can go just as far. It's time to start being nicer to people.

I leave you with this video that captured my heart last year and I will never forget this man. Keep this in mind next time you judge anyone's situation. 

In the words of Ellen DeGeneres, "be kind to one another."

Amel Larrieux LIVE at the Howard Theatre, Sunday, October 20th

If you're in the DC area this Sunday, October 20th, grab your girls, grab your man - grab someone and head on over to The Howard Theatre to see Amel Larrieux live! 

Doors will be opening at 6:00 p.m. for the 7:30 p.m. show and you know that The Bobby Pen will be front and center taking in all of that good music. Don’t just read about it after the event, be there and participate in the conversation right along with us!

Don't let this be you! 

With lyrics like, "Got me afraid of the rapture stirring inside of me.. Got me afraid of what I'm gonna do if I get you to see.." from her hit single "Afraid", this is guaranteed to end your weekend on a high note. 

Tickets bought in advance are $35 and are $40 at the door. There is also an awesome opportunity for an album release meet and greet after the show. For more information on the meet and greet, log on to thehowardtheatre.com

Join The Bobby Pen as we support great talent and fantastic music. Get ready to sway back and forth and lose yourself in the lyrics. We guarantee a great time!

Take a listen to Amel Larrieux’s 2013 hit single “Afraid” and hear for yourself why you should be right there with us on October 20th. 

Follow us on Twitter @thebobbypen 
Follow Amel Larrieux on Twitter @amellaurrieux

Why Your 20's Aren't All That

If you're still not in your 20's or are fresh into them.. take this as a disclaimer to exit this page immediately. You're in for a rude awakening. 

I'm no expert, but I'll tell you what I am: A 20-something-year-old, single, young woman with two degrees, tons of student loan debt, who still lives at home with her parents. 

I'll tell you what, when I was growing up, I had this bright future mapped out for my 20-something-year-old self. I would go to college, once I graduated I'd be living in my own apartment on River Road in Edgewater (because with TWO degrees I should be able to afford it), I'd be driving a Lexus and would be building my future with an equally ambitious and accomplished man.

Being in your 20's is an adjustment phase. I thought it was something that only my generation goes through, but unfortunately it's the reality of life. Almost everyone who I speak to that is over 30 says their 20's were stressful and probably the toughest years of their life. 

Here are a few reasons why your 20's kind of suck:

1. You can't rent a car until you're 25

2. Most hotels won't let you rent a room until you're 21

3. Car insurance is expensive as hell 

4. You're too old to be sneaking around

5. You're too young to be sneaking around

6. Your sex life.. that's all I'll say about that

7. People around you start having babies and getting married which can make you question your own life... often

8.  After college you find yourself sharing a room with your siblings, living out of bags and storage bins, or sleeping on a twin sized bed

9. You want to go out but you can't because most of your friends have kids 

10. You're still uncomfortable telling or hearing sex jokes in front of older relatives

11. You're always being questioned about why your job has nothing to do with your degree

12. You realize that your life is BORING 

I'm sure there are several other things that I need to prepare myself for as I continue to go deeper into my 20's... but on the bright side.. they don't last forever!

What are some other difficulties you faced or are facing in your 20's? Please feel free to share below!!

-Follow me on Twitter @TrulyMsP

A Real Eye Opener..

"I'm fat"

Two words that can mean so much. In a society where beauty is defined by looks, most of us women who don't look like what we see on TV find ourselves constantly repeating those two words. Growing up a busty, over developed, curvy Latina was never easy. At just twelve years old, and one year after hitting puberty, my mother took me to a nutritionist before my weight spiraled out of control. I managed to lose 14lbs the summer before 8th grade, and in high school maintained a decent weight. My breasts though.. that's a completely different story. It wasn't until college, of course, that my weight began to go up. It seemed like every time I went to the doctor the scale kept going up. I remember with every few pounds I gained, I'd set a limit. "I won't gain more than 5 pounds." And that was pretty much the story for the next five years. 

When I graduated college two years ago, I was 60lbs more than I was upon entering college. Unfortunately, the industry I chose to be in is one that is mostly about looks. I'm a pretty girl, but at the end of the day I do not fit the bill. This is something that I am reminded of very often. If I want to get noticed I need to lose a few pounds. I have a nice shape and I know how to present myself well. I don't think I'm "sloppy" with my weight. In reality, not many people around me notice the weight gain. I do. 

So when VH1 started to promote their new show The Gossip Game I was excited. I was excited because this show was going to be following women in the industry I hope to one day be a part of. I was looking forward to watching their individual stories to see how they have become successful. To my surprise, the first thing I noticed was that most of these women looked like me! It wasn't until then that I realized how we are surrounded by images of women who many of us out here can not physically relate to. 

The women of The Gossip Game --
Kim is in the center

It was refreshing to see that there are women out there who are successful and are beautiful without being gym freaks, models, or petite. Joseline Hernandez from Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta was recently interviewed by K.Foxx who is one of the women on The Gossip Game. Joseline made the following statement, "They all sloppy," in reference to The Gossip Game's  cast, except for K.Foxx." And just nasty. Get they @ass in the gym." When I think of the women of this show, in terms of appearance, the last thing that comes to my mind is "sloppy." So I was pretty offended, especially because I was able to see myself in these women. Does that make me sloppy too?

Last night during my radio show, I had the privilege of interviewing Kim Osorio from The Gossip Game, who is one of the women who looks like me. I brought up Joseline's comment, and Kim was open to discussing it. "Sloppy can be defined by the way you look, the way you speak, or the way you act on TV." Kim also explained how real women come in different sizes and the show is a reflection of that. "We're all a work in progress. Just to be able to have a spot on TV looking like a real person is a statement for us, and we should support that rather than be so critical of that statement." She also expressed how women should be applauded instead of being knocked down. I do believe that we should continue to bring more light to this subject since it is a reality and so relevant to women everywhere. I am very thankful to have had that conversation with Kim who provided a little bit more insight, especially being a woman in the crazy media world. Funny enough, just a few minutes talking to her was able to give me a little bit of a self esteem boost. 

As women we must all learn to support one another instead of knocking each other down. 

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

- Click on the link below to watch the interview with Kim & let me know what your definition of beauty is

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/brownsugarradio

Until next time! 

Follow me on Twitter: @TrulyMsP

Set the World on Fire! -- Alicia Keys at MSG

It's that time againnnn!! Time when I tell you all about my most recent encounter with my BFF Alicia Keys. Needless to say that I ordered my ticket within the first few days of it going on sale a few months ago. This time, I decided to see her perform at good ol' Madison Square Garden. I usually stay right here in Jersey, but it is a new day am I right? Anyway, the past few months have been extremely busy leading me to put my excitement for this upcoming concert on the back burner. 

It only took for me to walk into MSG and see the DJ at the entrance who was blasting all of Alicia's hits. I was exciteddddd!! If you're wondering, yes, I went by myself. Don't act surprised. There's a reason why I go to certain things alone. Anyway, the place was packed! I had floor seats, so I made my way to the bottom and waited for the show to start. As I looked up at the "nosebleed" section, all I could think was "damnnn homie!" It was a long way up! I always do that though.. no offense if you were sitting up there.. #iseeyouboo

Though the ticket clearly stated the show would begin "promptly at 7:30", I thought that was a hoax. Oh, but it wasn't. At 7:29, the lights dimmed and the show began. Impressive. Miguel opened up the show in his bright red suit, bless his little heart. He sang snippets of all our favorite songs of his.. Lotus Flower Bomb, Sure Thing, All I Want Is You.. but I was just tapping my foot waiting to do my *adorn 2 step* live and in living color. It was a very colorful performance, and he definitely delivered. 

I decided to take notes during this part of the show, because there was too much going on and I knew that I'd forget certain things. The people around me just kept looking at me take notes, probably wondering, "who is this girl?" Especially since I was sitting alone. I wanted to whisper in my Britney Spears voice, "It's Sasha B*tch." But I didn't. 

At this point in time, some annoying girls sat next to me, cup in hand, smelling like pure rum. Awesome. Something Miguel said that stood out to me most, during the interlude of one of his songs, "Some of the greatest songs were written in moments of vulnerability." True life, Miguel. *2 snaps* Every time he did sing something, these girls next to me kept yelling "I love this song!" Annoying, much? But what was funny was the old couple to the other side of me googling Miguel and reading up on his Wikipedia page. He also sang his latest ballad, "Do You Like Drugs", which reminds me of Mandeecees proposal on Love & Hip Hop. He added a twist to the song with a Jamaican beat and the light effects were on point. 

Finally, when "Adorn" came on, the crowd went wild. We were all standing up. *2 steppers unite!* He got off stage and walked around the audience as he sang. This was the end of his set, to which he let us know, "Alicia has the most supportive and passionate fans I've met so far." I think he's right. 

And now, the moment we've all been waiting for.... 

Photo from Madison Square Garden Twitter

I have never in my life felt that much energy when a person enters the room. All I kept thinking was that I wonder how it must feel to get so much love, especially being in your home town. Alicia is blessed. I will say that 90% of the concert everyone was on their feet. I don't know exactly what touch it is people say she lost, because I think she is at her best right now. She gave us all of our favorite classics, and included some of her new music from the latest album. 

When she sang "You Don't Know My Name", she showed the audience her funny side during the "conversation" with the guy she was calling. "You know the one with the braids?.. Well, actually, I cut my hair.. you like it?" This song led into "Tears Always Win", probably my favorite song from her new album. I almost fainted. This was legit. I was able to capture 30 seconds worth of it, and I think you get the idea.. it was awesome!

From "A Woman's Worth" all the way to "101", the crowd was on their feet singing along. I was up with no care in the world. I was singing, swishing my hips, raising my arms, stomping to the beat. She was on a roll. During her ballads, everyone would sit down and still sing along. Her voice was always raw and heartfelt. We ask, and she always delivers. When she got to "Fallin", even the old couple next to me sang along.

She took a few moments to tell us how much she loves Spring in the city, and told us one of her favorite songs was.. *cue the music...* DMX & Swizzy came out to "Up in Here." We were going IN!! *jumps up & down* "meet me outside, meet me outside!" That was a cool surprise. An even better surprise was when she came back on stage and kissed her hubby. Adorbz! 

She sang "Limitedless" & combined it with a little "Murder She Wrote." Now, I will say, if you've never seen Alicia dance reggae, you're losing. Those hips don't lie. So, behind the silk screen was a red light, and a silhouette of Alicia as she gave us a little sexy to start up "Fire We Make." I promise I tried to capture it, but my phone froze. And who came to accompany her on stage this time?.. None other than Maxwell himself, to sing his part of the song. That man. That voice. Whoo! Then, I heard the beat to "Unbreakable" and I was back up! She then followed with "Brand New Me" and again, the crowd went wild. She ended this part of the show with my all time favorite "No One." It was time to dedicate a song to a fan, and it went to someone named Sasha. My heart dropped for a second until I realized it wasn't me.. but either way, hearing her say my name still made it very personal.

We thought she was done, but you know Alicia likes to surprise us. She returned with "New Day" and "Girl on Fire." Killed it. Finally, Jay-Z was on the screen with the beginning of "Empire State of Mind" and Alicia came out to finish it up. It was amazing. Everything about the show was on point. It was just awesome, no bias. She did a fantastic job integrating all of her music. I am one happy fan. It's times like this that I am reminded why I love her so much. I left and bought myself some chicken and rice, and am back in Jersey contemplating life. I had several moments where I was in deep thought during some of her songs. She wouldn't be my favorite if she didn't give me something to think about. 

To this I say, until next time, Alicia. I'll be seeing you again soon. 

-- Follow me on Twitter @TrulyMsP

Single Mothers.

How many of you have kids? How many of you can afford to have them? ... Yea, that's what I thought. I have continuous conversations about people who keep having babies without being able to afford or care for them. I've noticed lately how many of the people that I am surrounded with have at least one child. I was actually starting to believe that maybe it was me who was doing something wrong. You can find me traveling, going out for a drink, or sleeping in.. I mean, I am in my 2os... and single!

I'm not saying that you shouldn't have kids in your 20s.. if you can do it, more power to you. What upsets me is that many of you are out here getting pregnant by men who you know will not be there to provide for their child and leave you to take care of it on your own. I look up to and appreciate single mothers who go above and beyond to ensure their child's well being. There are plenty of young women getting pregnant on purpose.. KNOWING that they are setting themselves up for the struggle of all struggles. This just doesn't make any sense to me. 

Why would you think that by you having a baby your man is going to stay with you? Ladies, it is 2012. If we have learned anything throughout the years, it is that there are plenty of men who will not think about it twice if they want to just get up and go. There are good men out there who handle their business and know that even if they aren't with the baby mama they should support their children. Very few in comparison to those who don't care. Even if he's willing to stay, if you don't see any progression in your relationship, leave him! I understand that I don't have kids so maybe I don't understand wanting to have a dysfunctional family. I prefer to be a single mother raising a child in a happy home than to be in a relationship where all we do is fight or just don't want to be together. Don't say you're doing it for the child. The child doesn't know one thing from the next. If they grow up around dysfunction, they will grow to think that it's OK. If they grow up with their parents already separated, but getting along, that is a hell of a lot healthier. But hey, what do I know?

The other thing is.. don't go out looking for a father to compensate for the absentee. Every boyfriend you have should NOT be introduced to your child. Please stop giving children false illusions that every man they meet is going to be their daddy. The man who wants to be there for your child will be there because they want to, not because you aren't giving them a choice. 

For those of you out there who do have your stuff together.. you go girl! For those of you who read everything above and found that I described you in any way.. make some changes. It's not about you anymore. 

Do you know someone who should be reading this? Send it to them!