Being Mary Jane.. hit or miss?

Who's been keeping up with the newest big TV show, Being Mary Jane? The first thing I will say is that I was immediately attracted to the movie in 2013 simply because I'm a huge fan of Gabrielle Union. When I found out that Salim Akil and Mara Brock Akil were behind this project, I also knew it was going to be worth my time. Their hit show Girlfriends still remains one of my favorite shows of all time - I'm currently indulging in the full series DVD set I recently got for my birthday. Being Mary Jane focuses on the life of Mary Jane Paul, a successful TV news anchor who is also strongly devoted to her family and finding Mr. Right - she also happens to be a Black woman. 

Mary Jane's (MJ) family is a hot mess. Her mother is sick, but she's extremely dramatic. Her teenage niece is pregnant for the second time and her brother is a recovering drug addict. Despite the circumstances of her family, it is something many of us can all relate to. Some people feel like they are the glue that keeps their family together and that can end up feeling like a burden. No matter how hard MJ tries to put her foot down with them, she ends up giving in.. because that's what a good daughter/sister/auntie does. 

Now, the real drama unfolds as we take a peek into MJ's crazy ass love life. From the masturbation scenes, to dodging an ex flame, to finding out she's having an affair with a married man.. I felt like I needed a cigarette break after watching most of these scenes. Not to mention, her love interests are the epitome of fine. This is where I'm going to play devil's advocate real quick... 

Many people are upset with shows like Being Mary Jane and Scandal because they're concerned at the fact that it seems like being a mistress is something to aspire to. Although I am a true Gladiator and can not wait for this winter hiatus to come to an end (17 more days!), Being Mary Jane seems to be much more relatable to the average woman than Scandal. I'm not by any means condoning that a woman should come second to anyone, especially when it comes to being in a relationship. The truth of the matter is that this show is really giving us a look into what many women have silently gone through - Falling in love with a man who belongs to someone else. In many cases, like MJ's, she wasn't even aware that Andre (her love interest) was married. He made her promises to get married and live this happy life that most, if not all of us want. By the time she found out about his secret it was too late... she was in too deep. We basically find ourselves asking "Why it happen?" (for insight as to why this question is my new favorite, please read "What Happen With That Cover, Atlanta Voice? Why It Happen?" on AwesomelyLuvvie.com ) Let's not forget that she is also torn between two men.. her ex and someone else's happily ever after.


 
Have you ever been in a situation like this? There were many times when MJ wanted to stand her ground but Andre pulls something, like coming out of the pool in all his fineness, and if only for a second we just want them to be happy together. It is no help that MJ is confronted by Andre's wife Bethany (ok that's not her real name but it was her name in Deliver Us From Eva, where she played Gabrielle Union's sister). So, Bethany goes to MJ's office to ask her if she's sleeping with her man and goes on to ask her every single detail of their sex life. MJ being the bad ass that she is, answers her questions with no remorse. As the episodes continue to show us a glimpse into her love , personal, and business life, to some extent we can all empathize with the struggles MJ faces. At the end of the day we want to have it all. MJ does what she thinks is best and a lot of times it it backfires. How many times have the decisions you've made for your life been the best ones?



I applaud the Akil's and BET for bringing light to a situation like MJ's, that many women have been through, but are ashamed to admit. It humanizes MJ and puts light on a situation that most people are afraid to discuss. Anyone who sees MJ on the outside would think she has it all. She lives in an amazing house, drives a fancy car, and is a beautiful, strong woman. Deep down there are underlying issues that no one would ever think existed. It shows that every one of us has a story and we should not be out here belittling each other for our decisions. We are often quick to judge a situation based off of "morals" but don't take the time to find out "why it happen?" 

I for one am extremely interested in where this storyline is headed and will continue to support this show every single week, if only for the eye candy and conversation that follows with my girlfriends each and every episode. 

How do you feel about this show? Do you relate to any of these characters? 

this is me when someone tries to talk to me during the show

Update: Mara Brock Akil read this post and loved it! *hits dougie*

Be Kind

It's been a while since I've been inclined to write a post, despite me always having something to say. I've been inspired to write this entry due to a very heated conversation I was involved in with a few co-workers this afternoon and thought I should share. 

How do you feel about people who are less fortunate than you? When you see a person begging on the street do you belittle what you would consider their lack of effort for a better life? Or are you someone who doesn't care about the circumstances and just likes to give back? 

I have always understood that not everyone is like me- I am generous to a fault. If I come across someone who needs my help and there's nothing I can do, it puts a damper on my soul for a long time. My mom always tells me, "you can't save the world." I know that I've been blessed in many ways and even though sometimes my life isn't where I want it to be, I'm still in a much better place than a lot of people. What I didn't realize though, was the viewpoints that some people tend to have on those less fortunate. As we happened to stumble upon a conversation about helping someone who needs it, my coworker said that he doesn't understand why this person isn't "busting their ass" for their situation to change. To be honest, I don't feel there's anything more this person can do, it's just a life situation where she's doing all that she possibly can to make ends meet and it still isn't cutting it. 

This guy's response was something to the extent of, "I've always had to work to get what I wanted and I don't understand why I should give someone a hand out." I got a little offended by his comment just because it's very easy to judge something by what it seems. I gave him my own example of having graduated with a Master's degree nearly three years ago and just recently getting a job. I began applying for jobs since before I finished school, only to end up cleaning houses and babysitting kids just to have some cash because nothing was happening for me. You will only understand if you've been through it when I say that looking for a job can easily become a full time job. There were so many people around me who couldn't understand how on earth I was educated and unemployed and would go as far as to call me lazy or "entitled." The truth is, for every 20 applications I sent out, I would maybe get 5 responses, none of which were ever job offers. 

During the rest of our conversation it just dawned on me when he said "time is money" or "this world is full of evil people, so why should I be nice?" My heart dropped. I realized that we really are a product of our environment. This guy has apparently lived a pretty rough life and has unfortunately been around people who haven't been there to lend him a helping hand. He isn't a bad person, but he views the world in a completely different way. When he asked me why I do so much for the people around me I just answered, "because I want to." He then asked, "do you think they'd do the same for you?", and to be honest my answer is no. The thing with me is that I don't do anything expecting something else or the same in return. I really just do what I want. 

Please take some time to do good to the people around you. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle or hardship, no matter if they tell you or not. Don't let the nastiness of this sometimes very cruel world make you become insensitive to other people's feelings or situations. Just because you weren't given the help, don't deny that privilege to someone you come across because of your bitterness towards those who weren't there for you. One kind gesture can go a long way... and clearly no gesture can go just as far. It's time to start being nicer to people.

I leave you with this video that captured my heart last year and I will never forget this man. Keep this in mind next time you judge anyone's situation. 

In the words of Ellen DeGeneres, "be kind to one another."