Why Your 20's Aren't All That

If you're still not in your 20's or are fresh into them.. take this as a disclaimer to exit this page immediately. You're in for a rude awakening. 

I'm no expert, but I'll tell you what I am: A 20-something-year-old, single, young woman with two degrees, tons of student loan debt, who still lives at home with her parents. 

I'll tell you what, when I was growing up, I had this bright future mapped out for my 20-something-year-old self. I would go to college, once I graduated I'd be living in my own apartment on River Road in Edgewater (because with TWO degrees I should be able to afford it), I'd be driving a Lexus and would be building my future with an equally ambitious and accomplished man.

Being in your 20's is an adjustment phase. I thought it was something that only my generation goes through, but unfortunately it's the reality of life. Almost everyone who I speak to that is over 30 says their 20's were stressful and probably the toughest years of their life. 

Here are a few reasons why your 20's kind of suck:

1. You can't rent a car until you're 25

2. Most hotels won't let you rent a room until you're 21

3. Car insurance is expensive as hell 

4. You're too old to be sneaking around

5. You're too young to be sneaking around

6. Your sex life.. that's all I'll say about that

7. People around you start having babies and getting married which can make you question your own life... often

8.  After college you find yourself sharing a room with your siblings, living out of bags and storage bins, or sleeping on a twin sized bed

9. You want to go out but you can't because most of your friends have kids 

10. You're still uncomfortable telling or hearing sex jokes in front of older relatives

11. You're always being questioned about why your job has nothing to do with your degree

12. You realize that your life is BORING 

I'm sure there are several other things that I need to prepare myself for as I continue to go deeper into my 20's... but on the bright side.. they don't last forever!

What are some other difficulties you faced or are facing in your 20's? Please feel free to share below!!

-Follow me on Twitter @TrulyMsP

A Real Eye Opener..

"I'm fat"

Two words that can mean so much. In a society where beauty is defined by looks, most of us women who don't look like what we see on TV find ourselves constantly repeating those two words. Growing up a busty, over developed, curvy Latina was never easy. At just twelve years old, and one year after hitting puberty, my mother took me to a nutritionist before my weight spiraled out of control. I managed to lose 14lbs the summer before 8th grade, and in high school maintained a decent weight. My breasts though.. that's a completely different story. It wasn't until college, of course, that my weight began to go up. It seemed like every time I went to the doctor the scale kept going up. I remember with every few pounds I gained, I'd set a limit. "I won't gain more than 5 pounds." And that was pretty much the story for the next five years. 

When I graduated college two years ago, I was 60lbs more than I was upon entering college. Unfortunately, the industry I chose to be in is one that is mostly about looks. I'm a pretty girl, but at the end of the day I do not fit the bill. This is something that I am reminded of very often. If I want to get noticed I need to lose a few pounds. I have a nice shape and I know how to present myself well. I don't think I'm "sloppy" with my weight. In reality, not many people around me notice the weight gain. I do. 

So when VH1 started to promote their new show The Gossip Game I was excited. I was excited because this show was going to be following women in the industry I hope to one day be a part of. I was looking forward to watching their individual stories to see how they have become successful. To my surprise, the first thing I noticed was that most of these women looked like me! It wasn't until then that I realized how we are surrounded by images of women who many of us out here can not physically relate to. 

The women of The Gossip Game --
Kim is in the center

It was refreshing to see that there are women out there who are successful and are beautiful without being gym freaks, models, or petite. Joseline Hernandez from Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta was recently interviewed by K.Foxx who is one of the women on The Gossip Game. Joseline made the following statement, "They all sloppy," in reference to The Gossip Game's  cast, except for K.Foxx." And just nasty. Get they @ass in the gym." When I think of the women of this show, in terms of appearance, the last thing that comes to my mind is "sloppy." So I was pretty offended, especially because I was able to see myself in these women. Does that make me sloppy too?

Last night during my radio show, I had the privilege of interviewing Kim Osorio from The Gossip Game, who is one of the women who looks like me. I brought up Joseline's comment, and Kim was open to discussing it. "Sloppy can be defined by the way you look, the way you speak, or the way you act on TV." Kim also explained how real women come in different sizes and the show is a reflection of that. "We're all a work in progress. Just to be able to have a spot on TV looking like a real person is a statement for us, and we should support that rather than be so critical of that statement." She also expressed how women should be applauded instead of being knocked down. I do believe that we should continue to bring more light to this subject since it is a reality and so relevant to women everywhere. I am very thankful to have had that conversation with Kim who provided a little bit more insight, especially being a woman in the crazy media world. Funny enough, just a few minutes talking to her was able to give me a little bit of a self esteem boost. 

As women we must all learn to support one another instead of knocking each other down. 

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

- Click on the link below to watch the interview with Kim & let me know what your definition of beauty is

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/brownsugarradio

Until next time! 

Follow me on Twitter: @TrulyMsP

Set the World on Fire! -- Alicia Keys at MSG

It's that time againnnn!! Time when I tell you all about my most recent encounter with my BFF Alicia Keys. Needless to say that I ordered my ticket within the first few days of it going on sale a few months ago. This time, I decided to see her perform at good ol' Madison Square Garden. I usually stay right here in Jersey, but it is a new day am I right? Anyway, the past few months have been extremely busy leading me to put my excitement for this upcoming concert on the back burner. 

It only took for me to walk into MSG and see the DJ at the entrance who was blasting all of Alicia's hits. I was exciteddddd!! If you're wondering, yes, I went by myself. Don't act surprised. There's a reason why I go to certain things alone. Anyway, the place was packed! I had floor seats, so I made my way to the bottom and waited for the show to start. As I looked up at the "nosebleed" section, all I could think was "damnnn homie!" It was a long way up! I always do that though.. no offense if you were sitting up there.. #iseeyouboo

Though the ticket clearly stated the show would begin "promptly at 7:30", I thought that was a hoax. Oh, but it wasn't. At 7:29, the lights dimmed and the show began. Impressive. Miguel opened up the show in his bright red suit, bless his little heart. He sang snippets of all our favorite songs of his.. Lotus Flower Bomb, Sure Thing, All I Want Is You.. but I was just tapping my foot waiting to do my *adorn 2 step* live and in living color. It was a very colorful performance, and he definitely delivered. 

I decided to take notes during this part of the show, because there was too much going on and I knew that I'd forget certain things. The people around me just kept looking at me take notes, probably wondering, "who is this girl?" Especially since I was sitting alone. I wanted to whisper in my Britney Spears voice, "It's Sasha B*tch." But I didn't. 

At this point in time, some annoying girls sat next to me, cup in hand, smelling like pure rum. Awesome. Something Miguel said that stood out to me most, during the interlude of one of his songs, "Some of the greatest songs were written in moments of vulnerability." True life, Miguel. *2 snaps* Every time he did sing something, these girls next to me kept yelling "I love this song!" Annoying, much? But what was funny was the old couple to the other side of me googling Miguel and reading up on his Wikipedia page. He also sang his latest ballad, "Do You Like Drugs", which reminds me of Mandeecees proposal on Love & Hip Hop. He added a twist to the song with a Jamaican beat and the light effects were on point. 

Finally, when "Adorn" came on, the crowd went wild. We were all standing up. *2 steppers unite!* He got off stage and walked around the audience as he sang. This was the end of his set, to which he let us know, "Alicia has the most supportive and passionate fans I've met so far." I think he's right. 

And now, the moment we've all been waiting for.... 

Photo from Madison Square Garden Twitter

I have never in my life felt that much energy when a person enters the room. All I kept thinking was that I wonder how it must feel to get so much love, especially being in your home town. Alicia is blessed. I will say that 90% of the concert everyone was on their feet. I don't know exactly what touch it is people say she lost, because I think she is at her best right now. She gave us all of our favorite classics, and included some of her new music from the latest album. 

When she sang "You Don't Know My Name", she showed the audience her funny side during the "conversation" with the guy she was calling. "You know the one with the braids?.. Well, actually, I cut my hair.. you like it?" This song led into "Tears Always Win", probably my favorite song from her new album. I almost fainted. This was legit. I was able to capture 30 seconds worth of it, and I think you get the idea.. it was awesome!

From "A Woman's Worth" all the way to "101", the crowd was on their feet singing along. I was up with no care in the world. I was singing, swishing my hips, raising my arms, stomping to the beat. She was on a roll. During her ballads, everyone would sit down and still sing along. Her voice was always raw and heartfelt. We ask, and she always delivers. When she got to "Fallin", even the old couple next to me sang along.

She took a few moments to tell us how much she loves Spring in the city, and told us one of her favorite songs was.. *cue the music...* DMX & Swizzy came out to "Up in Here." We were going IN!! *jumps up & down* "meet me outside, meet me outside!" That was a cool surprise. An even better surprise was when she came back on stage and kissed her hubby. Adorbz! 

She sang "Limitedless" & combined it with a little "Murder She Wrote." Now, I will say, if you've never seen Alicia dance reggae, you're losing. Those hips don't lie. So, behind the silk screen was a red light, and a silhouette of Alicia as she gave us a little sexy to start up "Fire We Make." I promise I tried to capture it, but my phone froze. And who came to accompany her on stage this time?.. None other than Maxwell himself, to sing his part of the song. That man. That voice. Whoo! Then, I heard the beat to "Unbreakable" and I was back up! She then followed with "Brand New Me" and again, the crowd went wild. She ended this part of the show with my all time favorite "No One." It was time to dedicate a song to a fan, and it went to someone named Sasha. My heart dropped for a second until I realized it wasn't me.. but either way, hearing her say my name still made it very personal.

We thought she was done, but you know Alicia likes to surprise us. She returned with "New Day" and "Girl on Fire." Killed it. Finally, Jay-Z was on the screen with the beginning of "Empire State of Mind" and Alicia came out to finish it up. It was amazing. Everything about the show was on point. It was just awesome, no bias. She did a fantastic job integrating all of her music. I am one happy fan. It's times like this that I am reminded why I love her so much. I left and bought myself some chicken and rice, and am back in Jersey contemplating life. I had several moments where I was in deep thought during some of her songs. She wouldn't be my favorite if she didn't give me something to think about. 

To this I say, until next time, Alicia. I'll be seeing you again soon. 

-- Follow me on Twitter @TrulyMsP

Single Mothers.

How many of you have kids? How many of you can afford to have them? ... Yea, that's what I thought. I have continuous conversations about people who keep having babies without being able to afford or care for them. I've noticed lately how many of the people that I am surrounded with have at least one child. I was actually starting to believe that maybe it was me who was doing something wrong. You can find me traveling, going out for a drink, or sleeping in.. I mean, I am in my 2os... and single!

I'm not saying that you shouldn't have kids in your 20s.. if you can do it, more power to you. What upsets me is that many of you are out here getting pregnant by men who you know will not be there to provide for their child and leave you to take care of it on your own. I look up to and appreciate single mothers who go above and beyond to ensure their child's well being. There are plenty of young women getting pregnant on purpose.. KNOWING that they are setting themselves up for the struggle of all struggles. This just doesn't make any sense to me. 

Why would you think that by you having a baby your man is going to stay with you? Ladies, it is 2012. If we have learned anything throughout the years, it is that there are plenty of men who will not think about it twice if they want to just get up and go. There are good men out there who handle their business and know that even if they aren't with the baby mama they should support their children. Very few in comparison to those who don't care. Even if he's willing to stay, if you don't see any progression in your relationship, leave him! I understand that I don't have kids so maybe I don't understand wanting to have a dysfunctional family. I prefer to be a single mother raising a child in a happy home than to be in a relationship where all we do is fight or just don't want to be together. Don't say you're doing it for the child. The child doesn't know one thing from the next. If they grow up around dysfunction, they will grow to think that it's OK. If they grow up with their parents already separated, but getting along, that is a hell of a lot healthier. But hey, what do I know?

The other thing is.. don't go out looking for a father to compensate for the absentee. Every boyfriend you have should NOT be introduced to your child. Please stop giving children false illusions that every man they meet is going to be their daddy. The man who wants to be there for your child will be there because they want to, not because you aren't giving them a choice. 

For those of you out there who do have your stuff together.. you go girl! For those of you who read everything above and found that I described you in any way.. make some changes. It's not about you anymore. 

Do you know someone who should be reading this? Send it to them! 

The Best Birthday Ever.. Again!

Here we are again.. It's that time of year.. My birthday! 

I know I said this in last year's birthday post, but THIS was definitely the best birthday ever! I mean, at least it doesn't get worse, right?! I'll tell you the story and you'll understand why I may have just had the best day of my life. 

I decided very early on this year that I would be traveling for my birthday. As I've gotten older I want to keep things a little more low key, and I've always wanted to spend my birthday soaking up the sun somewhere. Last month I booked my eight day trip to Miami to spend some time with family and friends just as I had imagined.. on the beach. 

Here's where things get interesting... The day before I flew out, Angie Martinez tweeted about a contest for a private studio session at a secret location with none other than Alicia Keys. As always, I immediately decided that I was going to sign up. Unfortunately, I was not able to sign up from my phone so I let it go. 

When I got home to pack that night, despite everything being so hectic, I remembered to log online to sign up for this contest. Now, I sign up for all things related to Alicia on a regular basis, but I figured "why not?" I filled out the quick application and turned off my computer, making this just one of the million entries I've completed. 

The next morning, I flew into the sunshine state and went to my friend's job. While I was getting my lunch I noticed that I had a missed call. I immediately recognized the number being from the radio station and called back. The girl who answered asked if I was Sasha, and when I said yes, she asked if I had signed up for this studio session with Alicia Keys. I really just thought that she was going to give me some more information on it, instead she said "you won!" My response was "No I didn't!" And I continued to insist that I didn't win until I figured I was being annoying. 

I was afraid to ask when the session was since I was not in Jersey. Good news! It fell exactly on the night of my birthday. Bad news! I would still be in Florida. When I told her, she thought I wasn't going to make it. Ohh, but I would be there. As soon as I hung up I ran to a computer to change my flight. My birthday plans had changed, but it was for the better. My vacation was cut short by FOUR days! I had a whole itinerary for my time there but hey, when Angie calls, YOU ANSWER!

Needless to say how excited I was to be going to this session, and obviously I was taking Kathy as my guest. Do you remember her from last year? We were a little more organized this time around and kept questioning what would be awaiting us. The secret location, by the way, was an awesome studio with lots of history. We got to the line and made a few friends and a lot of small talk. No one knew what to expect. 

Once we got inside, we were greeted by massive amounts of food, drinks, and the best cupcakes I've ever had in my life. Kathy and I sat in the second row, directly in front of the chairs where Angie and Alicia would be sitting. When Angie came out, she had brief conversation with us and got us more pumped up. Can I mention how much I love her though? She is seriously one of the biggest inspirations for the type of person I'd like to be on a professional level. I went to her BBQ this summer and have been following her work for as long as I can remember. I even learned to rap Busta's part in "Look At Me Now" because of her! 

Sorry, I got sidetracked. Anyway, Alicia came in and I was starstruck. I mean, just kidding. She is my BFF, so this was regular to me. We got to listen to a few tracks from her new CD, and a few throwbacks. In between songs she would come up to the audience to talk to us, and every time she walked by us I'd yell out "hey girl!" as I obviously do to all of my friends. Kathy was embarrassed! 

After the event was over, we were able to go take pictures with Alicia. When it was my turn I walked up to her to give her a hug and let her know it was my birthday. We took the picture we were asked to keep walking, BUT I stopped to talk to her. She vaguely remembered me from the meet & greet last year, wished me a happy birthday, and thanked me for going. She is all kinds of awesome and I am and will always continue to be a supporter of her in any way she chooses to express herself to us. Music, plays, movies, books.. I can't even describe my love for her. 

On our way out I was looking for Angie, and found her. She is also a sweetheart and took the time to talk to me as well. I can't complain about anything right now and you can find me walking on sunshine. It has been a whirlwind year and I started it the same way I ended it. Everything has come full circle. We're making this Alicia Keys/Birthday thing a tradition. Mark my words.. remember I said that last year too! Don't doubt me. 

By the way.. did you buy "Girl on Fire" yet? I got my copy today and I'm loving it! 

Until next time.

Not Even The King.

I will be broadcasting my favorite songs of the moment, every Monday. I call it "Music Mania" They will not always be current, or even in English. But I have a tendency to have many favorite songs-- often.. so why not share it with you all?

 

It's only right that I start with Alicia Keys.. of course! Well, it's no coincidence that right now I'm obsessed with her song "Not Even The King".. Listen to it and read the lyrics in the video to see why I can't get it out of my head.. "They can't afford what we got.. not even the king" What do you think of it?? Post your current favorite song for all to hear!  Until next time.. 

Rihanna - Talk that Talk

 

Oh Rih-Rih..

The interview everyone has been looking forward to finally came.. and went. I made sure I did whatever needed to be done for the day so that I can watch my Sunday night line-up without interruption. You would've thought I was getting quizzed on what I was watching. I had my bottle of water, notepad, and chocolate icee on hand and ready for Oprah. And so it began... 

Don't you remember singing along to "Pon de Replay" , not even realizing you were looking at our generation's next big thing? It's easy to forget that Rihanna is so young; we're the same age. She's so accomplished and well known that we don't stop to wonder who she is behind the music... where's VH1?!

I will say that I am a fan of Rihanna, but I'm not as obsessed with her as I am with certain other celebrities *cough, cough* (Alicia Keys).. anyway, I was just as interested to watch Rihanna sit down with Oprah. From the moment the interview started, it was clear that Barbados is the place she feels most at ease-- That was refreshing to see. Even with all of the money and notoriety she has, she is most at peace when she is in her home town. 

Rihanna looked very relaxed during the interview, and from the start you knew you were about to get to know her a little better. She described being idolized and the fear of the pedestal that comes with fame. I'm not famous yet, but I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like to know you can be held responsible for your influence on the lives of people you don't even know. It's hard enough being a big sister and knowing you have to set a good example for your younger siblings.. but talk about pressure! People are always quick to judge Rihanna and say she needs help because she's always taking pictures partying and drinking.. but guess what.. she's doing the same thing most people her age are doing anyway. I commend her for at least taking the time to try to enjoy her youth.

The part when she began to talk about her "Gran-Gran Dolly" was really sad. It's obvious that her relationship with her grandmother was very special to her. When she began to cry, it humanized who she really is. She has feelings that her tough girl image doesn't let us see.. and I appreciated her sincerity. 

Obviously the highlight of this interview was revolved around the Chris Brown situation. I thought she might try beating around the bush and she didn't. It's easy to judge a relationship from the outside when you don't know what is going on. She wanted people to want to help him during that time, but she knew no one was going to. Rightfully so, she said she was angry and in a dark place for a while after the incident. These situations aren't easy when you're just common folk, imagine trying to move past something in your life but constantly having to address it. Poor Rice Krispie, (Chris's current girlfriend) is probably mad as hell about this interview. No matter how you want to put it, Rihanna and Chris will always love each other... that doesn't mean they're meant for each other. It is what it is-- Young love is not always innocent. 

Rihanna then took us on a tour of her hometown, where she was just Robyn. Everyone was excited to see her and she was happy to stop and talk to them. Humility is an honorable thing, and even if you may not like her as an artist, she deserves respect just for that. I found it hilarious when she went to her old house and asked to walk through it. If that was me I would've been on the phone in my living room like "yea girl, not doing much today.. just have Oprah and Rihanna walkin around the place.. the usual." 

The interview was overall very raw, and very real. At the end, she surprised her mother with a house and before that, let us know that the situation with Chris strengthened her relationship with her father. Sometimes we don't realize that behind every bad thing, something good can come out of it. I hope that after this interview people will let it rest. We got what we wanted. She spoke about Chris and admitted to still loving him and it being awkward when they're around each other. It happens to the best of us. She is no different than we are.. and I think that's what she was showing us.. without even trying.. just being Robyn. 

Until next time..